Welcome to Ask April, a no-nonsense advice column focusing on what it is you can do to correct things that need correcting. While we all know much in life is out of our control, and sometimes, our reaction is all we CAN control- we really do have a lot of personal power, thankfully. Our will is just as important as the wills of others around us, and while we need to be considerate, we also need to make sure others are equally considerate of us. It is my hope that when you write in to me, asking advice, that I can help you make a good decision that somehow improves whatever situation you’ve found yourself in. As with anything I share, I recommend people don’t automatically take my word for anything, but include my advice in with the rest of the things that help them make a decision. I wish you well. Read on.
Every other week, I answer a call for advice, and every other week, I share my views on something I observed- I call this Observational Wisdom.
Dear Readers- after two weeks with no computer access, I have to say, it feels REALLY good to post an article to Ask April.
I love doing this blog and not doing so for a couple of weeks was excruciating.
Today’s topic has to do with pushy people and the love and respect I have for them.
Of course, we all know some harsh, and unnecessarily domineering people who we could do without. That’s not the kind of pushiness I am referring to.
The way I see it, pushiness can go either way. You can either be so pushy, nobody can endure your presence, or you can be just pushy enough that it is a good thing.
I’m talking about the folks who know how to use pushiness for the greater good.
These pushy people get a lot of things done, and make lots of progress in areas less aggressive people cannot. They also don’t let other people’s discouragement keep them from moving forward. They have the confidence, vision, and determination to continue working towards a goal despite obstacles and in the end, oftentimes do what other people felt was impossible.
Less pushy individuals give up more easily, or lack the courage to even get started that pushy people have.
Sometimes, they say things that need saying that other people don’t want to hear. They are well aware of the consequences of pissing weaker people off with the truth, but they don’t let that stop them from saying or doing what they feel is right.
They are people of vision. They go after dreams, and are crazy enough to try things other people frown upon. Maybe something is too big a risk. Pushy people know you have to take risks to get rewards sometimes. Maybe it is something nobody has tried before, and nobody knows for sure just how to accomplish it. Pushy people have the courage to risk failure, and possibly looking ridiculous for the sake of trying. They then have the enthusiasm, and dedication to get up once they have fallen flat on their faces trying, and try again. Rather than trying to save face and appear perfect, they know it is okay to stop trying one way to accomplish a goal, and try a new approach.
They tend to be honest and trustworthy. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say. They don’t apologize for being the way they are, and they don’t pretend to be any way other than how they actually are. They are oftentimes outspoken, and you don’t have to worry about where you stand with them. They will probably tell you if they dislike you. That’s okay. You won’t have to worry about them being a fake friend.
Their bad habits might be more obvious than those of a less pushy individual. Truthfully, though, if you are around ANYBODY long enough, whether they are pushy or not, you will become very well aware of their bad habits. So, it’s not a bad thing if a pushy person’s bad habits become obvious more quickly than a less pushy individuals. It just saves you the time of deciding whether to distance yourself form them early on before a relationship would have developed.
They can be very loyal as well. They can be very particular of who they spend time with. This means if they do spend time with you, it’s special, and a big deal to them. They also sometimes have smaller friend circles than some other folks. They will have more time to lavish their friendship on the few they keep near, and hold dear.
They are go-to people. If you need the truth, or something done, you know you can count on them. They are also great advocates for people they vouch for. You want them on your side. You also DON’T want to get in their way. Woe be to those who get in the way of those they hold dear or vouch for.
All in all, I like pushy people. Not nasty pushy, but capable, reliable, confident, determined pushy. I love to watch them at work. They are magnificent. They are the leaders, the world changers, and the visionary individuals who do what nobody else can.
They are my heroes.
I’m pushy, too. I have been told that I can be nasty pushy sometimes, which I’m not especially proud of, although I’m not exactly ashamed either. I can’t claim I am the illustrious type of individual I have described above- but I am damn stubborn, and I give it my all when I want to accomplish something. I have accomplished things people said could not be done, and I’ve also fallen on my face so badly, gotten up tried again, and again, and again, and then moved on to something else. I’ve started to learn better when to keep my mouth shut, and when to run it, but I mess that up sometimes as well.
Hey, nobody is perfect.
I will say, regardless of pushy people’s imperfections, it always makes me happy to see fellow pushy folks out in the world, doing their own one-of-a-kind thing, and not worrying what anybody else thinks of them for it.
For those of you who are pushy…the pushiness in me salutes the pushiness in you.
Keep doing what you do. Keep on keeping it real, and keep showing everybody who is not as strong as you how it’s done.