Hello from April

This is my first contribution to this blog, and I’d like to thank Brandon for being foolish enough to allow me to join the team. (He has no idea what he’s in for.)

We are blessed to live in a society where freedom of speech is allowed by law, and where we cannot be murdered in our beds by the government for speaking our minds…for the most part. I am sure if I did my homework, I’d find PLENTY of instances where people have been.

Our culture encourages independent thought, and being “part of the herd” is looked down upon. There have been other places in time when being an individual would earn you a shunning or a banishment. On a small-scale, black sheep still stick out like sore thumbs in certain social circles, yet I have encountered entire communities where it seems only so-called black sheep congregate and “conformity” is spit at. The older I get, the more I have come to believe that all human beings have the same basic needs, and aside from certain personal preferences, we share more in common than we differ from one another.

This has always been very difficult for me to accept- as even when I’m around my own kind, I can’t seem to go with the flow, and this is not intentional in any way. I don’t FEEL like I’m the same as other people- but when you get right down to it, we all want the same thing- to be happy and live the life we prefer.

What separates us mostly is what makes each of us happy, and what kind of a life we’d like to live. The worst part of all of this is the fact that the longer you live, the more what makes you happy changes, and the kind of life you want changes just as rapidly. As time goes on, we grow, change, and move forward to the next life. Presently, we carry our past toward our future. All that we are and all that we will be is all bundled up into a nice, neat little package, and we make plans, and are surprised by how things actually turn out.

A few years ago, if you asked me to tell you who I am, I’d have a detailed description. Now, I just AM. The things I do, which I felt defined me just keep changing and I never know when I’ll start a new endeavor or revert back to something I’d given up years ago.

What I used to be was an open-minded, tolerant, gullible girl with my head on the clouds and a lot of big dreams. I believed I could do ANYTHING I wanted to, and I believed if my will was strong enough, all I desired would be mine. Fast forward a couple of decades, and I have discovered the fact that all human beings have limitations, and I have learned to be okay with that. I have learned that life is not all about getting all we WANT. Sometimes, it’s about doing what we NEED to and not becoming so pissed off about that fact that we drive ourselves to bitterness. I have accepted that sometimes, the things I want to do include other people, and their needs and wants come before mine at times, and I have  learned to not be such a selfish bitch that I can’t accept that. I learned that tolerance and acceptance are two very different things, and that it is okay to tolerate or put up- with certain things I personally deem unacceptable because the earth does not revolve around just me and my beliefs. I went from being gullible to skeptical, and I was also VERY outspoken in the beginning and I’ve learned when to keep my opinion to myself. The question I ask myself is “Does expressing my opinion benefit me in any way, and does it cause consequences for me that I’d prefer to be free of?” Online conversations, thus, are oftentimes not something I get involved with very often anymore- because I admit, I selfishly do not normally care about other people’s opinions and I don’t find debates, arguments, or written cock measuring contests to be something I enjoy or benefit from in  any way. I’d rather watch horror with lots of sex scenes and crochet while visiting with a friend and waiting for the latest kitchen masterpiece to finish cooking.

I wonder to myself, sometimes, if members of the other animal species express their opinions to one another like human beings do, or if they just  eat, roll in the dirt, fuck, poop, and teach their babies to do the same, and not worry about all that emo bullshit. I wonder sometimes, when my husband and I are having a heated exchange about some unimportant topic, disagreeing like two-year-olds, if our cats and dog looks at us and thinks we are assholes, or if they think it is great fun to watch the humans wallowing in their stupidity. I remember the days when I worked in the shark infested waters of middle management , and the petty squabbles ensued between people vying for dominance of the middle realm we were relegated to. The unnecessary one-liners dropped, the gossip, and the nasty opinions of one another followed by a catty “Well, it’s TRUE” were the things that made entire teams fail, and made certain people wonder why nobody liked working with them.  I don’t miss those days.

I have decided, in all my 40 years of being human, that there has to be a better way of expressing ourselves than to just poop out of our mouths anything that goes through our pea brains without thinking of whether doing so helps us or anybody else.

Thoughts are powerful, and once expressed in words, can create or destroy things: business deals, relationships,. plans, parties, meetings over coffee,  trips to the library, the capacity to maintain meaningful employment, etc. etc. etc.

I want to use my words for betterment of my own life, and the lives of the people I am involved with- not just “tell it like it is”…which you still have to do sometimes, but there is more to life than just that.

I will be speaking with admin for this Blog to see if there is some need to fill or if I am to just write what I see fit. I doubt I’ll ever run out of material- because I am highly opinionated, and of the mind that I am always right, of course. I would not go so far as to say the trendy “Everybody is entitled to my opinion”, but I’m certainly not opposed to sharing.

My life has lead me through many twists and turns on my path, and it is my hope that I have many left to experience. As long as the universe wills it, I’ll be right here, sharing some of those experiences on this Blog, and having my say about things I observe along the way.

I am thankful for the opportunity to do so.




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