Mary Explains It To Joseph

It is highly unlikely that this conversation ever took place.  But you never know.

Mary:  Uh Joe…I need to talk to you.

Joe:  Sure hun, what’s on your mind?

Mary:  Well Joe, I’m sorta pregnant.

Joe:  That’s great Mary!….Uh, wait a minute.  I don’t remember consummating our marriage.

Mary:  Well no, Joe, we haven’t, which is another thing I’ve been wanting to talk about.

Joe:  Hey now Mary…it’s not my fault.  I’m awfully busy tending to all these goats.

Mary:  Yeah, well you need to tend to me sometimes.

Joe:  So you went out and cheated on me?

Mary:  Oh no Joe!  Well, not exactly.

Joe:  So how ‘exactly’ did you get pregnant?

Mary:  An angel did it.

Joe:  An angel.

Mary:  Yes, you know…like one of those guys with wings and a halo.

Joe:  I know what an angel is, I just didn’t know you’ve been seeing one behind my back.

Mary:  It’s not like that Joe.  He just miraculously impregnated me.  It’s called immaculate conception.

Joe:  Like a miraculous football pass?

Mary:  No Joe.  Conception, not reception.

Joe:  Oh.

Mary:  He’s going to be the son of God.

Joe:  Seems like he would be the son of the angel.  He did all the work.

Mary:  There wasn’t any work Joe.  It was kind of like “Poof, you’re pregnant”

Joe:  Must have been pretty exciting for you.

Mary:  You don’t understand Joe.  I’m going to be the mother of the son of God!

Joe:  I guess we’ll be pretty famous, huh?

Mary:  Uh, well…he will be.  And I will be.  Not so much you.

Joe:  Why can’t I be famous too?

Mary:  Well, you will be known because I’ll ride your ass all the way to Bethlehem.

Joe:  Nothing unusual about you riding my ass.

Mary:  That’s not what I meant.

Joe:  Ok, let me see if I’ve got this right.  You had sex with an angel, but you really didn’t, and you are pregnant, but you’re still a virgin, and you’re gonna give birth to the son of God.

Mary:  Yes, his name will be Jesus.

Joe:  You’re giving him a Mexican name?  Why can’t he be Joe Jr.?

Mary:  Think about that Joe.  People are going to pray to Joe Jr.?

Joe:  Why not?

Mary:  It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Joe:  Ok, but there is one other miracle you might want to wish for.

Mary:  What’s that Joe?

Joe:  Me believing all this bull.





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