Ten Things I Am Curious About

They say you get wiser as you get older.  It hasn’t worked for me.  There are still some things that I just don’t understand.  Maybe you can help me.

 

  1.  When I do my laundry there is that sign on the washer that says I have to take everything out of my pockets.  So as soon as I get the thing running I quickly put my wallet, keys, change, cigarettes, and lighter on top of the machine.  What would happen if I didn’t do that?  How would the washer know?
  2. I bought one of those baking potatoes with the plastic stuff wrapped around it.  The directions say to leave the plastic on the potato and microwave it for 7-8 minutes.  The potato came out pretty good, but the plastic was still kinda chewy.  Should I have cooked in longer?
  3. How come when I go to a hair cutting salon I can’t get a beer?
  4. Why is the last book of the Bible called Revolutions?  There is no war.
  5. Why did they build a large hardon collider over in Europe?  Who would want to do that?
  6. I stopped at a traffic light behind a truck that had a sign on the back telling me to stay back 50 feet.  So I backed up.  I was just following directions, but they said the accident was my fault!
  7. My kerosene heater says “Do Not Tip Over!”.  So I make sure not to drink before using it.  What difference would it make if I tipped over?
  8. My dad used to buy Ethyl at the gas station every week.  Who is she?
  9. The directions on my shampoo bottle say to wash hair, rinse, and repeat.  So I washed my hair, rinsed, and repeated.  Washed my hair, rinsed, and repeated.  Washed my hair, rinsed, and repeated.  Washed my hair, rinsed, and repeated.  Thankfully I ran out of shampoo before the water got cold.
  10. Where can I visit a farm that raises boneless chickens?

 

 

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