Make a decision.

Decisions. We are faced with them every day. Some little some big. What we choose to do each day, each moment, is what shapes our life. Sure, you might be born into negative circumstances or might have something happen to you that is out of your control but your reaction to those situations and what you decide to do is what matters.
Everyday people all over the world experience suffering and tragedy. We think it is these events that shape the future for these people but I would like to suggest that this idea is simply not true. Someone may have had alcoholic parents who abused them and they themselves grow up to be an alcoholic. But someone else may have the same situation in their youth, the same income in the household, the same racial background and yet grow up to be C.E.O of a company. A woman might be raped and forever be changed. Her relationships will suffer from a distrust in men. But another woman may, after being raped, start a shelter for women who share her pain and go on to help thousands of people. This is not to say that what happened to these people and people like them is justified. Absolutely not. Rape is terrible. Drug epidemics are terrible. We can all agree that there are things that no one experience. But I say the mosre important factor in any situation is not what happened but what WILL happen. What do you do now? How will you choose to react? Will you let this wrote your future or will you write your own?
Each of us experience things all day that we would label as good and bad. But the ratings we give are unique to us. First world problems (deciding which college to attend, which car to buy,etc) are not even in the realm of relevant to people in third world countries. These situations are largely relative. In America, for example, clean water is available to the vast majority of us. If we were to go to a third world country where their water source is a muddy river we would feel bad for them. We might say, “We need to get you bottled water! You shouldn’t be having to live like this.” What happens at that moment is negativity is given to these people. That river may be totally safe to drink! And for a third world village might be great! But to a city dwelling American its barbaric and now you have given your problems and worries to a simpler people who were happy before you told them they shouldn’t be.
My point is that happiness is not always about the situational conditions but rather the perspective of the one experiencing it. You will never convince anyone of anything. Most of us have talked with someone who is so firm in their beliefs that no amount of evidence will sway them. It is very frustrating. But also remarkably powerful.
When a decision is made that’s it. Its final. The problem is that the word decision is used incorrectly. The root of the word “decision” comes from the Latin word meaning to “cut off or kill”. To kill! A decision is to decide on one choice, one outcome and to KILL any and all other possibilities. That is extremely powerful. But when was the last time you actually did that? Quitting smoking or drinking is very hard and usually takes multiple attempts. Some argue that its because of the addictive nature but there are many studies that conclude that the power of a true decision is more powerful than addiction. Some people just stop! Cold turkey. They decided they were done and they were done.
People in bad relationships stick around for, sometimes, longer than is healthy. But eventually, usually again, something happens that makes them say enough is enough and they leave. They decided they were done and they were.
This goes back to the earlier example. The person decided somewhere that they would be an alcoholic and they were when the other person decided they would NOT end up like their parents and they became successful.
This is relevant everywhere. The person who cuts you off on the freeway didn’t make yiu angry, your reaction was to get angry. Your sports team losing didn’t make you sad, you chose a “sad” line of thinking which led you to decide you were sad.
In any situation, no matter what happens, you have it in you to grow and come out stronger. You have complete control over your emotional response which is almost always the major contributing factor in the outcome and end result.
I strongly encourage you to realize this and stop giving unimportant things control over how you feel. And rather than waiting decide NOW to be who you want to be and acknowledge that only you can shape your life.
What will you decide?


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